Handjobs Are Bleak Unless You Have Some Lube, Then They Can Be Pretty Decent, It Mainly Comes Down to Technique, I Guess

by Walter Mackey

a lesbian gave me a handjob like three months ago
it was in a mcdonald's parking lot around 3am i think
i ordered a big mac and supersize fries
the lesbian was a vegetarian so she just ordered a mcflurry
the obese mcdonald's worker said 'jeeze you've been my only customers
for five hours'
i felt ashamed
after we finished eating in the parking lot the lesbian looked at me
and said 'you look horny'
i think i said 'huh' and thought 'how does someone look horny'
the lesbian reached over and starting doing things with my flaccid penis
i reclined the seat and the lesbian stretched her arm over the arm rest
the lesbian's arm kept hitting the arm rest multiple times
the sensation was generally horrible
the lesbian didn't know what to do with a penis
i feel that the lesbian's interaction with my penis was like the first
time you held a newborn baby—you just didn't know what to do with it
the lesbian's interaction with my penis was like testing for avocado
ripeness at whole foods
i remember saying 'you're a lesbian you're a lesbian you're a lesbian'
many times
i drove the lesbian home and shania twain played on the radio
my penis was still cold from the lesbian's mcflurry-holding hands



Walter Mackey is not a lesbian but listens to a lot of Jewel in his
spare time so I guess you can be the judge.

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