J.G. Ballard was given a Kindle Fire but Jean Baudrillard was given an iPad.
J.G. Ballard smashes his Kindle Fire over Jean Baudrillard’s head. Baudrillard says, “What the fuck, Ballard? I liked Crash, bastard. I said I liked Crash, dammit.”
Jean Baudrillard clanked his iPad across J.G. Ballard’s face. Clanked it real hard and loud. “Ouch!” J.G. Ballard shouted. He said this with a pained expression. He said this like he now wanted to be dead, because the pain was for an instant too much.
“Whatcha do that for?” said J.G. Ballard.
“Seriously?” said Jean Baudrillard.
“No, no, definitely of course not,” said J.G. Ballard, smashing his Kindle Fire into Jean Baudrillard’s face and definitely breaking a nose, a single nose, Jean Baudrillard’s nose.
Baudrillard squealed and then kicked J.G. Ballard in the kneecap. Something broke. J.G. Ballard was hobbled and fell to the pavement.
J.G. Ballard crawled into the street. “Help, help, help! I’m being robbed by Jean Baudrillard. I’ve foiled his attempted robbery and now he wants to kill me.” he cried. Jean Baudrillard hobbled after him.
Jean Baudrillard bashed in J.G. Ballard’s brains with his iPad, in the middle of the street.
An iMac semi-truck drove over Jean Baudrillard, there, while he was panting and catching his breath.
Both the iPad and the Kindle Fire were fine, though. J.G. Ballard was sent an email from Steve Job’s ghost warning him of Jean Baudrillard’s treachery.
It was right there on the screen.
Somebody stole the Kindle Fire and somebody else stole the iPad, because they worked fine overall and were just a little blood spattered.
Sinclair Arnold wishes he were wrong but he never is, has never been. He has been previously published by Happy Dog Mom Lit Journal and currently no other publications.
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