MY MOST INTERESTING DAY

by Florence Lawrence

I want to tell you about my most interesting day. It began in the morning. Almost all of my days begin in the morning. I was sitting with my husband eating breakfast, trying to start a conversation with him because there was no newspaper on the front porch. “Honey, do you know why the paper didn’t come today?” My husband flipped an egg and said, “Honey, I have no idea why the paper didn’t come today.” I thought that maybe I had forgotten to pay the poor paperboy, so I went upstairs to get my checkbook because I keep perfect records of all expenses in it. I am amazing at balancing a checkbook. It is my greatest skill and passion. But just as I sat down...

A NEWSPAPER FLEW THROUGH THE WINDOW!!!

I had never seen a newspaper with wings on it before. It flew above the kitchen, close to the ceiling and away from the fan. It looked like a bat only it was a newspaper with wings instead of a bat. I wanted to catch it and put it in a cage with a little bowl of water and some rubber bands for it to eat. “Honey, do we have any rubber bands?” My husband flipped an egg and said, “Honey, I am flipping this egg. I am trying to set the world record for flipping an egg. So far I have flipped this egg over four hundred times and I don’t intend to stop because you-”. My husband didn’t get to finish his sentence because...

A PIPE BOMB FLEW THROUGH THE WINDOW!!!