Occupy Mars

by Archie Pelego

The young Martians were mad.  They decided to occupy Mars, because they were mad.  The young Martians were spoiled.  They were too lazy and proud to get a job flipping space burgers, so they decided to occupy Mars.

One Martian said to the other, “I hate that there are no jobs, and the space bankers make all the money, so let’s occupy Mars Street on Mars.”  The other Martian replied, “That sounds great!  It beats making an honest living doing hard work, because I’m lazy."

The Martians all sat together on Mars.  They played space bongos and smoked Jupiter weed.  One Martian would go, “Mic check!”  And then the others would go “Mic check!”  And then the other Martians would have to repeat what the other Martian said.  That’s so stupid!

On the other side of Mars, the President of Mars was having sex.  His wife’s heaving bosoms spilled out of her bra.  The President of Mars thrust himself deeply into his sexy wife.  The phone rang.  It was the Vice-President of Mars.  The Vice-President of Mars told the President of Mars about the occupy Mars protest.  “It’s terrible,” said the Vice President.  “No, that’s good,” said the President of Mars.  “Maybe the protesters will destroy space capitalism, and we can begin to evenly distribute wealth, and take away people’s ray guns.  The President of Mars was a space socialist. 

At the Occupy Mars rally, the space police came in.  They were just doing their jobs.  They shouldn’t be judged.  They sprayed protesters with moon dust, because the protesters were being dicks and blocking the space police.  The space police were just doing their jobs. 

Martian celebrities came in and thought they could help, but they couldn’t because they’re just celebrities.  People in the midwest of Mars thought they could get rid of their governor even though they already voted him in, because the governor was trying to save money.  They were sore losers.  

So there was trouble all over Mars, and it didn’t look like it was ever going to stop.  How did it end?  We shall see. 

1 comment:

  1. Seriously, the best thing I've read in 2011