Contest Winners!

Here it is, finally, at long last! Something that's totally better than the Alt Lit Gossip Awards. Terd Macchio introducing the winners of our "Handjobs Are Bleak Unless You Have Some Lube, Then They Can Be Pretty Decent, It Mainly Comes Down to Technique, I Guess" contest!

Take THAT Steve Roggenbuck.


  1. i don't know what this is but it made my insides feel all warm and tingley

  2. this is better than anything alt lit gossip will ever do

  3. I got a drink warmer for Christmas. It literally plugs into the wall and you can heat your drink up with it, setting it on the warmer like the warmer is a coaster. My drink? Coffee. always coffee.