A rare photo of std in the african savanna with a gorilla and he is talking about the wonderful site he runs.
Grandpa Grandpaington is an octopus losing at the game of scrabble.
Showing posts with label Stephen Tully Dierks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephen Tully Dierks. Show all posts
african savanna by grandpa grandpaington
A rare photo of std in the african savanna with a gorilla and he is talking about the wonderful site he runs.
Grandpa Grandpaington is an octopus losing at the game of scrabble.
Try to Run by Young Shade
Young Shade is a rapper from the south side of Chicago. He likes the movie Scarface and weird online lit mags.
We Won!
Yes, that's right, we won a beachy from Beach Sloth.
"Best Online Squatter"
Happy Dog Mom Litjournal
We don't know what the means exactly, but we'll take any awards we can fucking get. God knows that the Alt Lit Gossip poopwards ignored us.
We'd like to thank Beach Sloth, Steve Roggenbuck, Stephen Tully Dierks, your mother, Dogwalk Happen, Robyn, Bruce Springsteen, child-safe scissors, Terd Macchio's mutant belly button, Jesus Christ, Drew Carey, Carrie Underwood, Stephen King's Carrie, Carrie Bradshaw, The Beatles' "Carry That Weight," your level 5 Fighter's carrying capacity, and everyone else who we forgot.
People who can suck it: alt lit gossip, HTMLGiant, Ken Baumann, mom, dad, and everyone else who said we couldn't do it!
BUT WE FUCKING DID IT.
"Best Online Squatter"
Happy Dog Mom Litjournal
We don't know what the means exactly, but we'll take any awards we can fucking get. God knows that the Alt Lit Gossip poopwards ignored us.
We'd like to thank Beach Sloth, Steve Roggenbuck, Stephen Tully Dierks, your mother, Dogwalk Happen, Robyn, Bruce Springsteen, child-safe scissors, Terd Macchio's mutant belly button, Jesus Christ, Drew Carey, Carrie Underwood, Stephen King's Carrie, Carrie Bradshaw, The Beatles' "Carry That Weight," your level 5 Fighter's carrying capacity, and everyone else who we forgot.
People who can suck it: alt lit gossip, HTMLGiant, Ken Baumann, mom, dad, and everyone else who said we couldn't do it!
BUT WE FUCKING DID IT.
Contest Winners!
Here it is, finally, at long last! Something that's totally better than the Alt Lit Gossip Awards. Terd Macchio introducing the winners of our "Handjobs Are Bleak Unless You Have Some Lube, Then They Can Be Pretty Decent, It Mainly Comes Down to Technique, I Guess" contest!
Take THAT Steve Roggenbuck.
Take THAT Steve Roggenbuck.
THE OFFICIAL MOMMIES WINNERS
Hi everybody, we are announcing the official winner of the hot dog mom lit awards. The Mommies. We spent a long time deciding on these and put a lot of thought into them and then we got drunk and forgot what the real results were going to be. HERE WE GO.
The First Annual Hot Dog Mom Lit Awards
On December 27th on this very blog we will be announcing the winners of the First Annual Horny Dog Mom Lit Awards, aka The Mommies. All Mommy award winners will receive an uncomfortably revealing picture of our Editor-in-Chief. I'm not talking face shot.
The categories are as follows:
1. The Winner of that contest thing we posted before
2. Best Poet of 2011
3. Best Fiction Writer of 2011
4. Best Dogwalk Happen poem of 2011
5. Best Blogspot-based Online Lit Journal of 2011
6. Best Stephen Tully Dierks of 2011
7. Some other shit we made up
Oh and also peterbd doesn't edit our journal, that was us lying.
The categories are as follows:
1. The Winner of that contest thing we posted before
2. Best Poet of 2011
3. Best Fiction Writer of 2011
4. Best Dogwalk Happen poem of 2011
5. Best Blogspot-based Online Lit Journal of 2011
6. Best Stephen Tully Dierks of 2011
7. Some other shit we made up
Oh and also peterbd doesn't edit our journal, that was us lying.
THE DEAD BLOOD
“Ouch!” Samantha screamed, “That hurt!”
“Not as much as it’s going to hurt when I…” Charlie looked off in the
distance. What was that sound?
“What was that sound?” she said.
“I don’t know. “ Charlie cocked his shotgun, “But whatever it is, it
sounds like trouble.”
“So much has happened so fast,” Samantha gasped,”J-j-just like our
relationship!”
“I don’t have time for this,” Charlie muttered, “and neither does my rifle.”
“W-what about that sound?” she said. “Aren’t you going to investigate?”
“I told you I don’t have TIME!” he roared, shoving her down to the
dirty forest floor. “Let’s get this over with. And by this, I mean
YOU.” With that Charlie put the barrel of the shotgun to Samantha’s
face and squeezed the trigger. The sound echoed through the trees as
her grey matter splattered on the ground, leaving a shape much like
the many Rorschach tests he'd been subjected to in couples' therapy.
“Hmm…” Charlie chuckled to himself, “Looks like my girlfriend.”
Brutus Molotov is a child psychiatrist specializing in eating
disorders, high-functioning autistics, and the paranormal. He lives
with his wife, Olga, in Surok, a small Russian settlement.
“Not as much as it’s going to hurt when I…” Charlie looked off in the
distance. What was that sound?
“What was that sound?” she said.
“I don’t know. “ Charlie cocked his shotgun, “But whatever it is, it
sounds like trouble.”
“So much has happened so fast,” Samantha gasped,”J-j-just like our
relationship!”
“I don’t have time for this,” Charlie muttered, “and neither does my rifle.”
“W-what about that sound?” she said. “Aren’t you going to investigate?”
“I told you I don’t have TIME!” he roared, shoving her down to the
dirty forest floor. “Let’s get this over with. And by this, I mean
YOU.” With that Charlie put the barrel of the shotgun to Samantha’s
face and squeezed the trigger. The sound echoed through the trees as
her grey matter splattered on the ground, leaving a shape much like
the many Rorschach tests he'd been subjected to in couples' therapy.
“Hmm…” Charlie chuckled to himself, “Looks like my girlfriend.”
Brutus Molotov is a child psychiatrist specializing in eating
disorders, high-functioning autistics, and the paranormal. He lives
with his wife, Olga, in Surok, a small Russian settlement.
Steve Roggenbuck always ignores us
It's true, it's like he doesn't know we exist, even though he can't not know.
We can play the same games, Steve. We can ignore you too.
Well here's a video we made that represents how we feel, Steven:
(Also, where the hell is Stephen Tully Dierks???)
We can play the same games, Steve. We can ignore you too.
Well here's a video we made that represents how we feel, Steven:
(Also, where the hell is Stephen Tully Dierks???)
Stephen, where are you?
We recently asked all of our submitters if they could get Stephen Tully Dierks to send us something because we fucking love him.
Here's a response from a young man named Kyle:
"Unfortunately, ever since the 'Cyber Monday fiasco,' I am barred from any further contact with Stephen Tully Dierks. You see, no one ever explained to me that it is a celebration of capital and NOT of masturbation. Last year, I sent pictures of my penis to those I admire, and also made a great deal of awkward sexual advances to a lot of confused people. The short of it is that he doesn't think I'm 'that funny' and would like to be 'left alone.' So, yeah, that's kinda out."
Here's a response from a young man named Kyle:
"Unfortunately, ever since the 'Cyber Monday fiasco,' I am barred from any further contact with Stephen Tully Dierks. You see, no one ever explained to me that it is a celebration of capital and NOT of masturbation. Last year, I sent pictures of my penis to those I admire, and also made a great deal of awkward sexual advances to a lot of confused people. The short of it is that he doesn't think I'm 'that funny' and would like to be 'left alone.' So, yeah, that's kinda out."
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