Hubert Selby Jr.’s "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

by J. J. Curry Ford

Waylon Frost swings the axe made of ice at the redwood. The sun doesn’t stop it from the yell of “Timber!”, the cloud of birds, insects, and dust. Waylon rips the branches and birds nests off, his claws smoothing the edges.


Waylon and his partner, Nathan Necrofoot look at each other from opposite sides of the bed.

“Waylon, are you sure this will work, that this will finally get us laid?” Nathan asks.

“That’s what the old man on the mountain said, that if yetis go ass to ass using a redwood no less than 100 years old that our howls and blood will attract females and this will ensure the survival of our species.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then we will keep trying until it does. We do this for survival. For hope.” Waylon grabs the remote, cuing the mournful violins of the Kronos Quartet to mask the grunt of that first inch.

J. J. Curry Ford is a tween paranormal romance novelist. His first book, Fins and Fangs, comes out in 2012.

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