Christoper
Columbus discovered America so he could suck some dick. He woke up in
Spain one morning and was like “Fuck this, I gotta suck some dick!” so
he went to America, because he knew there was a ton of dick to suck
there. He got dressed and ran to the king’s castle and was like “Hey
King, let me go to America because I gotta suck some dick!” and the King
was all “Ok, but first you gotta suck this dick!” so Christopher
Columbus sucked that King’s dick until he came three ships full of
sailors to take him to the dick-sucking mecca that is America. Once
the ships were ready to sail, Christoper Columbus sucked all the
sailors’ dicks and pretty soon they were all in America. There was only
one problem though: Christopher Columbus couldn’t find any dick to suck!
He was about to starve to death when a friendly Native American named
Squanto found him. Christoper Columbus immediately started sucking his
dick. I mean Christopher Columbus was sucking his own dick, not Squanto’s. Christoper Columbus was too
busy sucking his own dick to notice Squanto. When Christopher Columbus
was finally done sucking his own dick, another Native American named
Pocohontas showed up. She didn’t have a dick, so Christoper Columbus
sent her away. He later starved to death due to lack of dicks to suck.
Florence Lawrence is sucking your dick right now. Go ahead, look down.
this sucks dick
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