Hey, HTMLGiant:

We still have comments.

Pussies.

We're Not Mean Girls (We're Pretty Hot Tho)

This post by Melissa Broder got to us a little. We may have said... questionable things... about many people... in the past.

And we feel kind of bad.

No more bickering or mean-spirited jokes.

Also, Melissa, assuming you're on board with our new, nice-guy image, how about considering leaving HTMLGiant and writing regularly for us?

Love,

The Editors

Seriously, HTMLGiant?

Dear HTMLGiant,

Firstly, you can suck it.

At first, we weren't sure why you criticized our design on your website during this stupid bookshit bracket nonsense. Then we realized, oh yeah, we've criticized HTMLGiant before. We found it hard to believe that you are so immature, that a little criticism would cause you to defile our good name in such a way, but that's exactly what you've done.

Here's the deal: you write little blogs that people will forget one month from now. The creators of Happy Dog Mom, on the other hand, create art that will live on in the memories of everyone who reads it. We know this is hard for you to deal with, the jealousy and all that, but please try to do so in a reasonable fashion.

Love,

The Editors

O-BITCHYary: Dear Melissa Broder

People who think deer should die are the LAST people who should decide when it's time for a deer to be dead. I hold this truth to be self-evident. Guess somebody should have told Melissa Broder over HTMLlittlest. Fact is, over at the tiny yesterday she was "joking" about how deer are dead.

Now ok, you might say, no, she was joking about how deer are dead as muses because it's a tired trope / cliche you see all the time in literature, BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG. Here's why: did you see the picture she used?

Let me refresh ya:

Yeah, folks, yeah. Deer are cute, and they're great muses! Why shouldn't I have my deer anymore? Because Melissa Broder has a problem with my art?

It reminds me of this time when I was a kid and my dad took me hunting, right? So we're hunting and we're hunting and all of a sudden this deer rushes out of the woods and it just tramples my dad and me. And my dad is dead. And when I got out of the hospital I was thinking, no way deer are something to be messed with. Deer will mess you up. They're so strong.

SO basically I'm offended because my dad was killed by a deer when it struck his temple with a hoof and then his shotgun discharged in his face when he tried to shoot the deer. I know because I've had so much therapy about it.

Basically, Melissa, think about your words? And how they hurt people who want to be a.) creative and b.) honor their father's memory by drawing pictures of him riding on deer, firing his shotgun into eternity.

Love,

The Editors

HTMLGiant?

More like HTMLittlePerson*.

Read Impossible Mike's HTMLGiant post Portrait of the Artist as the Books He’s Loved.

What'd you notice? His fancy words, like "homogenized"? His politically infused crap words, like "hegemony"?

You know what, Impossible (to stand) Mike? We hear at Happy Dog Mom don't appreciate you trying to stifle the creativity of many writers with your ranting criticisms! Take it somewhere else.

Love,

The Editors

*As per the request of several individuals, we changed this from HTMLMidget to HTMLittlePerson, which is actually more clever, and less offensive. Savor this moment, we will never bow to your whims again, losers.