Handjobs Are Bleak Unless You Have Some Lube, Then They Can Be Pretty Decent, It Mainly Comes Down to Technique, I Guess

by Moe Jassey

I find myself eating Chinese takeout
more and more these days which is ok
with me I guess though I wouldn't swear to it
even if the processed chickens did live bleak
lives, beakless and breasty in their pens
which, come to think of it, describes my days
quite well. I'm just not sure why I keep opting
to watch porn and jerk off instead of having sex
since I can have sex whenever I choose mostly
now that I am in a relationship, with in-house pussy
(I feel really obvious and pathetic typing 'in-house
pussy') that has large breasts and all the handjobs
that arrangement entails (which is more than you
might think since it takes me a while to get hard
enough for anything else beyond lazy handjobs).
I just have to fight back the urge to cry and eat
more of the refrigerator cold leftover Lemon Chicken
and dream of different large-breasted women to give
me handjobs that are better than my own, which is my pet
fantasy when the rhythms of my in-house pussy's handjobs
aren't like the ones I give myself and the pumping
and the stroking stands a real chance of ending up wasted
and pitiful. It's such a lazy waste of lube that it gives me
an acid stomach even when I am able to expel a thin pool
of my seed onto one or the other of our bodies.



Moe Jassey lives in a cabin in the woods and pens poems when he isn't sending erotic photographs of himself to female poets of the interwebs.