Handjobs Are Bleak Unless You Have Some Lube, Then They Can Be Pretty Decent, It Mainly Comes Down to Technique, I Guess

by Maeve Deswaynyo


6am
standingatthebusstop
the sun on the horizon line
thebuildingscastshadows
that loom toward me.

coolsummermorning
I lean against the brick wall
ofanoldapartmentbuilding
waiting for the bus
andlisteningtotheworld

"OH YEAH MAN"
wordsIcanhear
through the wall
Ilistencloser

"OH YEAH MAN, I WANT TO START A BAND WITH YOU"
it's a man yelling over
thesoundofahairdryer

"OH YEAH MAN, I WANT TO CALL THE BAND "HANDJOBS ARE BLEAK UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME LUBE, THEN THEY CAN BE PRETTY DECENT, IT MAINLY COMES DOWN TO TECHNIQUE, I GUESS"
he's yelling on the phone and
blowdryinghishair,Ithink

"OH YEAH MAN, BUT IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. WE'LL DO LIKE A MIX OF LIKE LED ZEPPELIN AND R & B, BUT WITH ELECTRONIC LOOPS AND STUFF"
I have 2 minutes until the bus gets here
butIam e n t h r a l l e d

"OH COME ON MAN, I NEED YOUR PIPES IF I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS WORK."
I now hear a Canadian accent in the timbre of his voice
themanseemsdissappointed

"OH COME ON MAN, WELL SCREW YOU THEN, MAN. I WOULD OF DONE IT FOR YOU, MAN."
the bus arrives and I wonder
maybeIcouldhelptheman
maybe I could be the singer of
HANDJOBS ARE BLEAK UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME LUBE, THEN THEY CAN BE PRETTY DECENT, IT MAINLY COMES DOWN TO TECHNIQUE, I GUESS



Maeve Deswaynyo woke up this morning in a pile of Chex Mix after having this awful dream about being enslaved and tortured by drug dealers.