Handjobs Are Bleak Unless You Have Some Lube, Then They Can Be Pretty Decent, It Mainly Comes Down to Technique, I Guess

In 1969 I got a handjob.
I said "Why not a 69?"
Everyone was making that joke that year.
The summer of 1969 was not the summer of love.
I did not get my first real six string.
I got a handjob.
A shitty, shitty handjob.


Dogwalk Happen has been taking the same bath for 72 hours straight. At this point the water matches his toenails. He is no longer picky and will accept anything that has "job" in the name that anyone wants to give him.